Why Feel Feeling?
This is a tough question, but an important one. Emotions give us valuable cues as to how we are doing in life. Couples evaluate their relationship based on emotions. If we allow our emotions to be completely felt, we will appreciate the opposite feeling. If we don't hide from sadness, but really embrace it, we will understand it and allow it to teach us the lesson that sadness is just one end of a continuum. The other end is happiness. If we allow sadness to touch our soul, we will appreciate happiness far greater when that emotion fills us. If we struggle with distrust, that is a very uncomfortable feeling. We hate it. But just allow yourself to feel it fully; right down to your inner being. Yes, it hurts. It may even be a searing pain. But after you have set with it for a while, (it won't kill you), that feeling, will wash through you and wash away. Our usual habit is to try to cover it up with anger. Anger over distrust doesn't feel that good either. With anger, you can keep reliving the pain and it does not go away very easily. But if you sit with distrust, let it wash over you, let it do its work in you, it will be over. You can say, wow, that was hard but it didn't kill me and I really understand distrust better. Then, when you are in a relationship where trust exists, you can really appreciate it to the fullest.
Springtime is so sweet because we have endured winter. Fall is so great because we have endured the 110 degree summer heat. If every day was a perfect temperature, we would say ho-hum just another day. The extremes of weather and emotions help us to value the good times when they are with us.
Each feeling has an opposite. (see the chart below) As we become aware of each painful or negative feeling, and as we experience each and then let go of it, we can transform them into joyful feelings. This allows us to experience the transformation from pain to joy, from a curse to a gift. Our feelings work in concert with our will and our intellect to help us grow and live. If we deny, repress, or suppress our feelings, we only block the flow to their natural conclusion. Blocked feelings can cause distress and emotional and physical illness. By contrast, when we are aware of, experience, share with a trusted friend, accept them and then let go, we tend to be healthier and more capable of experiencing inner peace.
Taking time with our feelings is essential to our growth and happiness....
The way out of a painful feeling is 'through it'! When we acknowledge our feelings, we can come to the empowering and healing realization that "We are not our feelings". Feelings need not overtake us or rule us. We are not their victim. We can observe them, describe them and participate in them, but we don't have to be swept away by them. We don't have to jump on that emotional train that takes us where we don't want to go.